Why detachment leads to happiness
Gaining a third-eye perspective on reality
Hi friend,
Hope you’re well.
I’m writing today’s edition back in my Swedish bedroom, enjoying my regular cup of black coffee and feeling the soreness of yesterday’s leg day.
I got important news for you:
From next week, Writing to Wisdom will be called “Solopreneur Systems”, and shift focus to how I’m building my one-person business using AI, systems, and writing.
Why?
Because it’s more aligned with my business goals right now to write about my subject-matter expertise than writing philosophical business pieces.
I’ll still give you business advice. I’ll still tell stories. And I’ll still make jokes.
…but all in a more refined matter.
I think you’ll like it.
In either case, let’s dive into today’s story:
Last week was my happiest week of 2023.
For the first time this year, I felt completely happy about the present.
I didn’t beat myself up for not working enough. I didn’t go to bed thinking about tomorrow’s work tasks. I didn’t stress my days but took my time to meet friends and work out.
And to my surprise…
…this week also felt like one of the most productive ones this year.
I felt happy about the status quo. Had energy all-day. Randomly laughed while taking walks. Felt deeply in love with my family, friends, and girlfriend.
That’s happiness for me.
This led me to the question…
Why was I so happy?
I’d worked just as much as during other weeks.
I’d slept just as much (or even less) than other weeks.
I’d eaten just as much delicious peanut butter oatmeal as during other weeks.
So…
What happened?
After pondering about it…
…I realised that I finally didn’t feel like I was in such a f*cking hurry anymore.
Ever since becoming a solopreneur, I’d felt an inner urgency to succeed FAST.
Get clients. Deliver well. Grow my business.
I’d expected to drive the road of business as fast as if it was driving a Mercedes on the Autobahn…
…but in reality, this road was a bumpy dirt road, and I was driving an Opel.
My expectations made me feel unhappy about the process.
Until two weeks ago.
During my mastermind in Barcelona, I had the time to reflect.
I realised that if I just hit the gym, wrote, did outreach, and ate well during the days, I’d be fine.
And I changed my mantra to: “I prioritize long term over short term”.
(the previous one was “Everything’s fine as long as I have black coffee, oatmeal, and hummus”)
Last week, this mindset shift started to show.
I felt:
Less needy
Fewer desires
More present
And I didn’t judge myself as much anymore.
I felt as if my life and work were more detached than they’d ever been since going solo.
Which brings me to today’s lesson:
Detachment is the precursor of happiness
Detachment is the opposite of attachment.
If you’re emotionally attached to something, your happiness depends on it.
If you’re detached, your happiness is intrinsic.
In my case, I’d made myself happier by detaching my self-worth from my feelings and work progress.
Detachment leads to rationality.
Rationality leads to better long term choices.
Better long term choices led to higher quality of life.
And higher quality of life correlates with higher perceived happiness.
So, if you recognise any of the feelings I discussed today…
…try to detach yourself from your work, and start enjoying life again.
See you next week,
Nils