Pathfinding Practices.

How to find your path again if you feel astray

Hi friend,

Right now, I'm sitting at a Starbucks at Calgary Airport, Canada, dual-wielding a black coffee with a chai latte. I never drink chai. In fact, I even have a bad habit of looking down at people who drink sugary milk drinks. They just taste too sweet and contain a bunch of sh*t. Yet here I am, sipping a chai latte.

Why? Well, perhaps I only drink it today because I’m fried. Tired brains crave sugar. Yes, that must be it. After 2 weeks in the U.S. and Canada with 5-6 hours a day of sleep, I’m not in my best mental shape. But it’s been a hell of a ride, I can tell you that!

If I’m honest with you, I don’t have any intention for writing this letter.

It’s been over a year since my last “Writing to Wisdom” edition. Perhaps, I’m only writing this to procrastinate. Perhaps, I’m only writing because I’m bored. Or, perhaps, I’m writing this now because there’s something that needs to be written.

Writing used to be my therapy. Now, it’s my work.

Last year, my girlfriend and I spent 3 months living in a co-living space in Porto. We wanted to go to Portugal last minute, so it was the only spot we found. The room was so tiny that we had our dinner dates on the concrete floor. I loved it.

One day, I had a conversation with Juan, our reception guy.

Juan told me he used to be a photographer for fun. For years, he took images for the sake of taking images. But then, he got so good that people paid him to take photos. The second he got paid, Juan told me, he stopped enjoying taking photos. “I made good money, but the passion was gone.” Ever since, he made a rule for himself to never accept money for photos again.

Back then, I didn’t think much of our conversation.

Yet it popped into my mind now, 13 months later, on the other side of the globe.

3 years ago, I wrote on the internet because it was fun. Then, I got so good that my friend Marvin hired me to write LinkedIn posts for $15 a pop, an opportunity I’m forever grateful for. Then, I set sail on my solo writing journey. Today, people pay me thousands of dollars for my writing.

Marvin & I, Berlin 2022

But throughout this journey, I stopped writing for myself.

I abandoned Writing to Wisdom. I wrote for others. I served my readers. I stopped writing about random sh*t I found interesting because it didn’t serve my business.

And where did I end up? In confusion.

Over the past 2-3 months, I’ve felt unclear on my purpose. I can’t help but think about a Napoleon Hill quote my friend Connor told me about:

*imagine a sophisticated bearded man reading*

“Purpose is the Devil’s greatest enemy”

(paraphrasing, but sounds like something Napoleon Hill would say!)

Me, a sophisticated bearded man, and my friends Connor and Tristan in Miami 2023

On the contrary, purposelessness IS the Devil.

I can’t forget the quote because I find it to be true. When you don’t know what you want out of life, you set yourself up for disappointment. You don’t know what a “great life” means to you so you never feel fulfilled. You don’t know your purpose, so you constantly doubt if you’re doing the right thing. That’s how I feel.

I’m not sad. In fact, I’m very happy. On paper, I’ve had an incredible year.

I:

• Lowered my resting heart rate to 44 and ran my first marathon

• Made more money in a month than I made in the entirety of 2022

• Spent more quality time with family and my partner than the years before

• Traveled the world while working, from Mexico City to Sedona to Kelowna

• Met, talked, and learned from incredible 6-, 7-, 8-, 9- and 10-figure founders

• Took a shot with one of my internet “idols” and slept in the basement of another

Like seriously, I’m f*cking blessed. I feel like the luckiest person on Earth. There’s no other way to look at it.

But despite living 2021 Nils’ dream life, I feel like something is missing.

Why?

Is it because…

…I started going to college 3 months ago and realized it’s not really what I wanted?

…I’ve written on the Internet for 3 years and don’t really know where I want to go?

…I don’t listen to a priming Tony Robbins meditation every morning?

I don’t know.

And that’s the problem.

I haven’t engaged enough in Pathfinding Practices.

Pathfinding Practices are behaviors that make you aware of:

1. Where you are

2. Where you want to go

3. How you get to where you want as fast as possible

Think of these practices as a GPS for your purpose.

They help you get to where you want to be as fast as possible. Sure, you don’t need them to get to great destinations. But without them, you’re just running around with no intention. You might end up at a beautiful mountain creek or a trashy Irish bar in Kelowna. The point is -

Without a GPS, you’re leaving your destination up to chance.

Pathfinding Practices are rituals that actively confront you with your life situation, such as:

• Therapy

• Journaling

• Meditation

• Group Coaching

• Deep conversations with loved ones

I actively discern them from other spiritual rituals like yoga, breathwork, and time in nature. That’s because they don’t always include pondering life questions.

If you feel lost, like me, re-integrate Pathfinding Practices into your life.

Consistency matters more than intensity. I used to think meditating 5 minutes a day was a weird habit. A habit personal development rookies just do to keep a streak and pat each other on the shoulder. That belief probably comes from all the people I’ve met who have fancy morning routines but don’t achieve sh*t.

But now, I’ve changed my mind to a more nuanced position.

Yes, journaling or meditating 5 minutes here or there doesn’t change your life. But the habit does. Even 5 minutes of self-aware reflection gives you the 80/20 results of feeling purpose in your life.

That’s all for today.

Nils